A new friend

(Blackout. Lights brighten to reveal a middle-aged woman in a hoody and pyjama pants curled up on a couch. She grasps a mug of tea with the tea-bag string visible. As she speaks, she uses her hands to emphasise her words, which is made comical or awkward when she she holds the mug. She speaks into the darkness.)

I have a new friend.

So, as a “third-culture kid”, I’m supposed to be very good at making friends, at least superficial friends, y’know, like fast friends for short, adventurous stints in far off places. But that is totally not me at all, right? Although maybe my Myers-Briggs personality type is throwing me off, seeing as I’m introverted and feeling, so I need like deep intense relationships… However, as a Leo, I’m supposed to be an outgoing life-of-the-party sort – but I do cusp with Virgo, so I wonder if that tempers me a bit…    

I haven’t had a friend at work for… well for a long time. A long time. I’m very particular about friendships. I have to really “click” with someone, y’know? And there have been times where I’ve “clicked” but the other person hasn’t “clicked” and I thought we were “clicking” but it turns out we weren’t. It’s just… 

Anyway, sometimes I feel like the personal shouldn’t mix with the professional, y’know? How are you supposed to get any work done when someone asks you how you’re doing and you have to actually tell them? (She laughs at her own joke) Right? I like to keep things nice and compartmentalised.

It’s not like I’m not nice to people, I’m totally nice to people, I’m nice to people all the time! I’m super nice! “How are you, you look great, how was your weekend, how are your kids/cat/dog.” Y’know. And everyone is so nice back. And you throw in a joke here in there, keep things light, laugh and walk backwards to the door so you can leave without seeming rude. You know what I mean.

Anyway, so now I have a new friend. Someone who wants to actually meet with me for lunch and talk. And we like, share stuff about ourselves… (she laughs) Actually, at one point, we were both like, “Ok I guess we’re friends now.” and I was like, “Yeah, I don’t know what to do with that. Ha ha.” and she was like, “Well, knowing us we’ll just tell each other if it’s not working. Ha ha.” and I was like, “Ha ha Oh no! Ha ha.” And then we just said let’s have lunch again tomorrow, and now it’s like… a regular thing. 

I don’t know, knowing me I’m probably going to screw this up somehow.

(She takes a sip of tea and accidentally spills a fair amount down the front of her hoodie. Swearing and trying to wipe the tea from her chest, she exits stage left. Fade to black)

10 thoughts on “A new friend

  1. The staging here is excellent. It sets this slice up to really show exactly how self-conscious you are while simultaneously being wonderfully self-revelatory. “She laughs at her own joke” really made me chuckle because, well, yeah. Nicely written – so much fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. This is really good. I love that it’s entertaining and personal at the same time. Also, this rules – >>>> “Ok I guess we’re friends now.” and I was like, “Yeah, I don’t know what to do with that. Ha ha.” and she was like, “Well, knowing us we’ll just tell each other if it’s not working. Ha ha.” and I was like, “Ha ha Oh no! Ha ha.” Laughter is definitely contagious because now I’m all like, sitting here, laughing. Ha ha.

    Liked by 1 person

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